The times vary and the conversations on the other line is unpredictable, "Hi Mrs. Smith I am calling about Dakota". The unknown is what scares me the most causing my heart to drop out of my ass every time. The nurses always say that no news is good news but truly that phrase is a catch 22. You do not wish to see the hospital number come up on your cell phone, but if you are not physically there at the hospital then you are the one doing all of the calling. "They will know my voice!" that is what I always tell myself, hey luckily for us parents they just recently installed cameras over the omni beds. How AWESOME is that!? So now when Im in transition to and from the hospital I can peek in on Kota Bear. I am so grateful for the technology that we have available here in the states, it is phenomenal. I know that things could be much worse than they are, some of the stories you all have shared with me has warmed my heart and some of the stories did not end with day to day visitation to go see your micro preemie. To all of the parents who have lost their child through the process, I cannot begin to imagine what it must feel like. I would just like to personally thank you for allowing me to draw strength from you; the real MVP. Dakota is showing improvements little by little, she's down on her oxygen and she actually had a bowel movement. I know there is still a ways to go, but I have so much to look forward too like kangaroo care (holding her), breast feeding and changing her diapers, the best is yet to come.
From my heart to yours