Frustration is the word and feeling helpless is the emotion, not to mention my hormones being out of whack! what can I do? what did I do?...Absolutely nothing. I know that everything happens for a reason, but when you are going through the storm that phrase is the last thing on your mind. I am so apologetic to Dakota because she is here so early and it is hard not to blame myself. I know that I am asking her for a lot, to be strong, to hold on and pull through; I just know in my heart that God has so many plans for her life and I want to be a witness to them all. Every time I look at her I am instantaneously filled with so many emotions. On one hand I am sad because I can feel her pain as I look at all of the wires and tubes, then I become filled with joy because she is here...still here with us. I crack up laughing when I look at her because she has these little tiny eyelashes and a nose like her Na Na. I made the comment to my husband; "she is smaller than a Barbie Doll" he shook his head and laughed. We are learning to appreciate each minute with Kota Bear our tiny bundle of joy. He created her especially for us and for that we are blessed.
From my heart to yours